Incomplete
by strawberryfinn
Summary: [COMPLETE]. Zack hurts Cody and must deal with the consequences when he finds himself falling apart without his other half. Alternate ending to the Election episode. Songfic, R & R, please.
1. Pieces

**Author's Note**: This story is based on _The Suite Life _episode called _Election, _otherwise known as the episode where Zack and Cody are running against each other for class president. I don't know. The scene where they all started chucking things at Cody almost broke my heart. What _I _wanted to know, though, was _why _didn't Cody say anything about the picture, or even seem to notice it? It was _huge._ I thought that episode was rather unrealistic, so I decided to write my own version of what would happen in it. (The idea just popped into my head, and wouldn't stop bothering me until I wrote it down). Maybe I think too hard… I don't know. Anyway, I do not own the song _Pieces_ by Sum 41 or the characters in this story. But I _do _own the new plotline, so read it and tell me what you think, ok? I've always wanted to do a song fiction with Sum 41's _Pieces._ Review and let me know what you think.

Chapter 1: Pieces

_Ashamed._ That's what Cody was feeling now. He wanted more than anything to get out of this place—get out of the room—get away from all the jeering and laughing faces. He wanted to get away from that poster that had a humiliating picture of him. Zack had promised he'd never show it to anybody—the twins had kept it at just a silent joke to themselves. And now look what he'd done.

**I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it.**

**I don't believe it makes me real.**

**I thought it'd be easy, but no one believes me.**

**I meant all the things that I said.**

Across the room, Maddie gave Cody a "thumbs-up" sign, and Cody nodded weakly. He had to say his speech—get people to listen to him, and vote for him. He had to prove that they couldn't just _buy _popularity—that he had excitement and great ideas for the school. Even if he no longer wanted to do it for himself (which he didn't), he needed to do it for Maddie, for Arwin, for all those people who had helped him, and prove the picture wrong. He wasn't that kid. He wasn't.

"I…" he broke off weakly. "I want to make changes in academics."

Everybody booed, waving their arms and calling him names. Cody flinched involuntarily. He didn't want this. He couldn't deal with this.

**If you believe it's in my soul,**

**I'd say all the words that I know.**

**Just to see if it would show,**

**That I'm trying to let you know,**

**That I'm better off on my own.**

He stumbled on blindly, "So if maybe you get a bad grade on your test, you can get another chance to get a _better _grade."

Max made a biting remark about Blankie, and everybody stopped listening to him, only looking at him to point fingers and laugh. Cody felt himself flush. He hated Max right now, but he knew she was right. What kind of teen went around holding a pathetic piece of blue felt?

Cody felt a lump rise in his throat, but continued. "And we can fix the food in the cafeteria! How about we set up our own food stands?"

Max said something about Cody's footsie pajamas, and once again, everybody pointed and laughed, not bothering to listen to his ideas. Cody flamed, feeling his face redden even more. He _did _still wear those pajamas—they were comforting and special. Had anybody bothered to mention that those were a present from his _grandmother _before she died? No, they hadn't.

Cody tried to protest. "I like footsie pajamas because they're nice and warm. Just like…"

**This place is so empty,**

**My thoughts are so tempting,**

**I don't know how it got so bad.**

**Sometimes it's so crazy, that nothing can save me,**

**But it's the only thing that I have.**

Max interrupted him, "Don't vote for Cody! You'll have to use those towels to wipe him off the floor! You'll have to use those shampoo bottles to wash him out of your hair! Don't vote for Cody! He's dirty! Vote for Zack!"

People started chucking their towels and shampoo bottles and whatever else London had handed out at Cody, who tried to dodge, feeling tears start in his eyes. _Don't cry_, he willed himself. _Please don't cry._ This would only prove their points, and he didn't want everybody to think of him as that. The crybaby, the little kid, the wimp, the blanket boy.

He waited until they had nothing else to throw at him, and tried to continue, but his voice caught in his throat as his eyes burned while his peers laughed. Cody tried as hard as he could to turn the pain and humiliation into anger. It worked quite well.

"What kind of brother _are _you?" he shot at Zack who was lounging in a chair, looking slightly uncomfortable. "How could you do this?"

"Hey," Zack said, raising his hands in self-defense. "You ruined my posters—I ruined your reputation. Not like you _had _any reputation, nerd boy."

"You promised," pressed Cody, "this just shows that you're a back-stabbing liar and a worthless twin!" He sucked in his breath. He'd never said anything that mean to Zack and actually meant it.

**If you believe it's in my soul,**

**I'd say all the words that I know.**

**Just to see if it would show,**

**That I'm trying to let you know,**

**That I'm better off on my own.**

This only seemed to fuel Zack's anger though. He jumped up, fire blazing in his eyes. "You know what, _geek _boy? Maybe these people are smart, and they'll do the right thing and vote for _me._ Nobody cares about what you say, Cody. Seriously. Nobody _cares._ Nobody's ever cared, and they never will! Since _when _has anybody cared what _you _say?" His voice level was rising, and he didn't even seem to notice there was anybody else in the room.

"They _should _care! Why should they believe a back-stabbing liar? Why should they believe a slanderer like you?" Cody paused, spitting out these last words with greedy anticipation. "Why should they believe some kid who still _cries _at night because he misses DADDY?"

There was a collective gasp from around the room, and the kids started laughing, pointing at Zack this time.

Zack turned red. _This _was forbidden. Sure, he'd known that he would be hurting Cody to reveal the picture, but he had _needed _it. It was _Hawaii_ for God's sakes! But now Cody had gone and blown their deepest secret for the longest time.

"Yeah, he cries," Cody said, announcing it to the grade. "He still _cries _at night because he's always saying, 'God, Cody, when's Daddy coming home? Boohoohoo,'" he mocked, hearing the other kids laughing at his brother. More than anything, Cody wanted to take back those words, but since he had released them, it seemed as if there was no way to stop. He knew it hurt Zack, and now it hurt him to think that he could have done something like that. Exposing his brother and leaving Zack vulnerable and open to the outside world. Cody tried to look anywhere but at his brother, at his friends, at Maddie, whose face was awash with disappointment.

That still didn't explain what Zack did next. Zack _still _didn't have an excuse for his next act.

**I tried to be perfect, it just wasn't worth it,**

**Nothing could ever be so wrong.**

**It's hard to believe me,**

**It never gets easy,  
I guess I knew that all along.**

As Cody stood there, shamefaced, Zack came closer to his brother. Cody looked up, apology written in his eyes, and his mouth open, about to speak. That's when Zack hit him.

He hit his younger brother harder than he had ever hit anything in his life, releasing all his pent-up feelings, pain, and anger. A blow hard on the side of Cody's face—the force of it so hard that Cody crumpled to the ground with a cry of agony.

Cody lay on the ground in pain and humiliation, feeling the burning slap of his brother's punch on the side of his face, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He was aware of the silence in the room, but didn't seem to see anybody, as his vision blurred and his hearing turned into a vibrating dull humming sound. Did Zack just do that, or was it all a dream? He felt like pinching himself to see if he was actually awake. His brother had never physically hurt him before—never, never. Zack knew how sensitive Cody was, and was always careful, even when he said some hateful comment, knowing that Cody was rather unstable. Cody shuddered, realizing the true impact of his brother's blow.

Did Zack hate him? How could he have hurt his twin? He'd pushed Zack too far, finally reaching his breaking point. Cody was aware of this as he lay still on the ground, still recovering from the shock. Finally he stood up slowly, aware of Maddie's face awash with pain, and London's gasps of horror. Max and Bob didn't look at him; Tapeworm stood up to try to say something, but Cody just pushed him away.

**If you believe it's in my soul.**

**I'd say all the words that I know,**

**Just to see if it would show,**

**That I'm trying to let you know…**

Cody glanced quickly at his twin, but Zack's face was so stony and unforgiving, Cody drew away. The lump in his throat disappeared, and he finally could not hold back the torrent of tears anymore. With a small whimper, he burst into tears, his shaking shoulders giving him away. He heard some kids whisper, "Crybaby," and he tried to wipe his tears away with his sleeve and hide his choked sobs.

It didn't work. Cody felt the burning pain and mortified at his outburst of sobs, he didn't have any choice. He turned and ran from the door, ignoring the pitiful looks. He had to get away. Get away from all the humiliation, get away from the pain, get away from the embarrassment.

But mostly, to get away from Zack.

**That I'm better off on my own.**

**Author's Note**: Ooh, that was sad, wasn't it? Oh well, I always turn Disney from something happy and G-Rated to something that involves severe angst. Well, review and tell me what you think, so I can update. Do you have any ideas for songs for the next chapter? If you do, tell me.

-Finn


	2. Move Along

**Author's Note**: Ooh, the awaited Chapter 2. Yeah, _this _chapter involves some intense cutting and violent material, so really—_really _don't read if you're uncomfortable. In _my _opinion, cutting is the stupidest philosophy that has ever been introduced to humankind, but it is also very widespread—so I decided to write about it. Ack. I don't own any of the characters still. Um, this chapter is sort of unrealistic, but please don't flame me or anything. It also moves sort of fast because I got a little impatient. Oh, I don't own the song _Move Along _by the All-American Rejects. I'd like to thank Mr. Sketchy Ghost for the song suggestion. Song suggestions are still welcome for the next chapter, but I'm probably using _Incomplete_ by the Backstreet Boys.

Chapter 2: Move Along

Zack stood there, his feet rooted to the ground as if he was stuck there and could never move. Which he reminded himself, he sort of _was_.

_My God_, he thought to himself, feeling himself tremble slightly. _Did I just do that?_

He looked at his quivering hand, which was still reddened from the impact of the blow against Cody's face. It was only then, looking at his trembling fingers, when he realized the gravity of what he had done.

**Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking,  
When you fall everyone stands.  
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking,  
With the life held in your  
Hands are shaking cold.  
These hands are meant to hold. **

Everybody always said that Zack was the protector. Zack was the older twin, the older brother who would look out for Cody. He would save Cody from everything that he faced—protect him from all those outside horrors. That's what they said. That's what everybody said.

What did everybody think now?

Maddie was staring at Zack with a disgusted and disappointed look on her face. Arwin was shaking his head, not believing that it had just happened. Even _London_ the stupidest girl that Zack knew, was wide-eyed with horror. Tapeworm's eyes welled with shock, the one question reading, _How could you?_

_How could I?_ Zack asked himself. _How could I? _

**Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong,  
Move along, move along like I know you do.  
And even when your hope is gone,  
Move along, move along just to make it through.  
Move along  
Move along**

Cody had never, ever done anything to purposely hurt him, to ever cause Zack any pain. What had just happened back there? Why would he expose the twins' deepest secret and reveal it to the world, letting Zack suffer?

Zack thought hard to himself. He had thought he might have been going overboard with Cody's picture and he should have stopped there. But Cody didn't have to go and spill _everything!_

But Zack shouldn't have slapped him. Zack had no right to do that, and as he stood there, he felt the shame overwhelm him. He'd hurt the person he cared most about in the world. He'd hurt his baby brother. He'd hurt his twin. No matter what anybody would ever say, Cody was Zack's little brother, and that was the way it was always going to be. He was there to protect his twin from pain, from hardships, and look what he'd done.

**So a day when you've lost yourself completely  
Could be a night when your life ends  
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving  
All the pain held in your  
Hands are shaking cold  
Your hands are mine to hold **

Look what he'd done now.

xxx

Cody shuddered, stumbling to the ground as he finally got out of the school, his body racked with sobs. He didn't want to think of what had just happened. He didn't want to remember.

He didn't want to feel his brother's fist striking his face, the burning sting of the blow as he fell to the ground. Cody didn't want to remember that.

He didn't want to remember the muffled voices full of pity and disgust. Why did he have to lose it right there? Why did he always have to break, fall apart, while Zack stood there strong and stable?

There had to be something wrong with him.

**Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along  
Go on, go on, go on, go on**

Maybe they were all right. Maybe Cody was a wimp. Maybe he was a crybaby. Maybe he was a dork. Maybe he was a nerdy loser that nobody wanted to be friends with. They were right. Cody had been wrong all along. He'd always tried to pull his mind away from that fact, but now it was more obvious than ever. They were right…

Zack had always been the more popular one. Zack had always had more friends, more girls, more chances at everything that Cody wanted. He hated it. He wanted it to all end right now.

xxx

It was all over now. Cody had avoided Zack's eyes for the last few days, looking anywhere but at his brother. Zack had attempted to talk to Cody several times, but Cody shied away, afraid to be hurt again. He didn't want to remember what had happened. Carey didn't seem to notice anything—the boys were just quieter than usual and she invited the silence.

One question kept on popping into his mind though. Did Zack _hate _him? Why would Zack do something like that—hurt Cody when he knew how much it hurt? As Cody thought harder about it, he realized that it had to be right. His brother _did _hate him.

He was sorry he'd hurt Zack now. Cody had never done something so instinctively, so impulsively as he had then, forgetting how much pain he could cause his brother. He'd just done it, and he was sorry now. He should just let go, and move on, but he couldn't. Cody had never been a person who could let things go so easily.

He knew what he should do, but he was afraid to do it.

**When everything is wrong, we move along  
Go on, go on, go on, go on  
When everything is wrong, we move along  
Along, along, along **

Until he had the dream. In the dream, he'd been grabbing, grabbing hard at a rocky slope, almost falling down the edge of the cliff. Zack had appeared over him, and Cody had asked for help. He'd _begged _for help, asking his brother to save him. Zack had turned away, and Cody had let go. He'd fallen… and that's when he'd woken up screaming and he knew what he had to do.

It was a Saturday—Carey was downstairs getting ready to entertain the guests. Zack was still asleep—he always slept in late on weekends.

Cody crept quietly to the kitchen, looking through the drawers until he found a sharp knife. Hiding it under his shirt, he headed over to the bathroom.

He'd heard somewhere that cutting could help relieve the pain felt. He'd thought it was stupidest idea at the time, but he was hurting so much right now, he'd try anything to get rid of the pain. Closing the door of the bathroom, he pulled the knife out from under his shirt.

**When all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through **

He pulled it out and put it to his wrist, getting ready to pull the blade over his pale flesh. He gasped and pulled away. He couldn't do this.

_Stop being such a coward_, he told himself. _Zack doesn't care about you. Just get rid of yourself and get it all over. Right now. Do it for Zack. You want him to be happy, right? Well, he'll be happier without you._

He felt tears fill his eyes, and he just let them fall, not bothering to wipe them away. He just wanted to do it and get it over with.

**When all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through **

He grasped the knife firmly in his hand and drew it over the flesh on the underside of his left wrist, cutting in a deep gash that looked sort of like a dark red ribbon draped across his arm. He gasped in shock as blood welled up in his arm and slowly slid down to hit the floor with a splatter.

Well, what had he expected? Marshmallows?

His head pounded, his ears humming dully. He'd never known that there was this much blood in people. The red pain kept sliding out—not pain, he reminded himself, _blood_, but it might as well have been pain. It hurt either way.

He stumbled slowly, falling to the ground. Come on, he needed to finish this. Taking the knife in his shaking left hand, he got ready to cut his right wrist as well.

But he was stopped.

**When all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through **

"Cody? What are you doing?" came a low, shaky voice. "Oh my God, Cody, _what _are you doing?"

Cody glanced up, almost passing out from a wave of dizziness. His vision blurred in and out of focus, but he recognized the voice. It was Zack.

**Go on, go on, go on, go on  
Right back what is wrong  
We move along **

**Author's Note**: Oh no! What's Zack going to do? Well, only _I _know, and I'm not going to tell you unless you review. Please? Song suggestions welcome.

-Finn


	3. Incomplete

**Author's Note**: Update for all of you. I hope you like it. I don't own the characters, or the song _Incomplete_ by the Backstreet Boys. It's not my favorite song, but the lyrics really worked.

Chapter 3: Incomplete

Zack stood in the doorway, shaking uncontrollably. He'd woken up, looked over at Cody's bed, and found that he wasn't there. Feeling a pang of pain, for Cody hadn't talked to him even though he had _tried _to apologize, he got out of bed and crossed over to the bathroom, because he had to relieve his bladder.

He'd opened the door, and seen Cody sitting there. His first instinct was to close it—well, Cody needed some privacy, right?—but then he saw the blood that pooled over the floor; the blood that dripped steadily down from Cody's left wrist. His eyes traveled from Cody's wrist to his right hand which was clutching a rather large kitchen knife—the tip of it covered in blood.

**Empty spaces fill me up with holes  
Distant faces with no place left to go  
Without you within me I can't find no way  
Where I'm going is anybody's guess**

"Cody? What are you doing?" he'd asked, his voice shaking, though it was fairly obvious. "Oh my God, Cody, what are you doing?"

His younger brother looked up at him, trembling in pain, saying rather stupidly, "I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll go to another room."

To Zack's horror, Cody rose to his feet to leave, but his knees crumpled from under him and he fell. Zack ran to his side and caught him before he hit the floor.

"Cody, what are you doing?" Zack's voice rose to a high-pitched squeak; he'd never been so afraid in his entire life.

**I've tried to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I pray for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete**

"I'm getting rid of myself," Cody stared at him with his glassy, fever-glazed eyes. Those eyes which had been so alive days before were now dull and lifeless. He'd lost a lot of blood, Zack realized, and the blood was still spilling out of his arm, dampening Zack's shorts with red liquid.

"But why?" Zack's voice came out in a choked gasp, and he realized that tears were coursing down his cheeks. He rubbed them away with his hand.

Cody seemed surprised. "Because you hate me."

**Voices tell me I should carry on  
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone  
Baby, my baby  
It's written on your face  
You still wonder if we made a big mistake**

"Oh God, no," Zack's voice cracked with pain, and he shook inside. Cody thought Zack hated him… Cody thought he hated him… how had it all come to this?

Cody let out a small whimper as he adjusted to the pain. That grabbed Zack's attention.

He stood up and grabbed a Tipton towel, wrapping it around Cody's wounded arm. He wound it around tightly, and then pressed down on it hard.

Cody let out a small gasp of pain, but Zack kept on squeezing.

"I'm sorry, Cody, I know it hurts, but it will slow down the bleeding. Come on, buddy. Hang on, hang on for me," his voice arched up in a spiral of desperation. He was losing Cody. He was losing his twin. _He was losing his baby brother. _"I'm sorry Cody, just hang on."

**I've tried to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I pray for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete **

Cody looked up at his older twin through tired eyes. What was going on? Why was Zack doing this for him? Maybe he didn't hate him? Maybe he didn't…

_Stop it_, he scolded himself. _You hurt Zack and he hates you and now he has a reason to hate you. Stop it, Cody. Stop it._

But Zack's eyes were so concerned as he held hard onto Cody's arm and squeezed the towel around it—a towel that was slowly turning red from Cody's blood. The gentle way he ruffled Cody's hair to keep him calm was so loving. He looked hard at Cody, and his soft, sad voice asked, "Why did you do this? Why would you do something like this because you thought I hated you?

**I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go  
I don't wanna make you face this world alone  
I wanna let you go, alone**

"You hate me," Cody whispered, and Zack felt like crying. He wanted to hold his brother close to him and tell him that he didn't hate him and that he loved Cody more than anyone he'd ever known and it would always be that way. But somehow he couldn't. Zack had never been capable of showing his emotions that way, and even as his brother's life dripped out of him, he still couldn't show his emotions. "You hate me, and so I hate myself. I wanted to get rid of myself. I thought you'd be happier without me…"

"Oh God," Zack whispered, tears brimming up in his eyes. "Oh God, Cody, no don't think that. Please Cody…"

Cody groaned, his breathing now ragged. "I thought you'd be happy, Zack. I did it for you…"

"Cody, hang on, buddy, I'm going to get help," Zack said, anxiously. He squeezed onto his brother's arm, trying to adjust Cody's right hand to his left wrist, which was still bleeding. Then Zack ran and grabbed the phone, dialing three numbers with his shaking fingers… 9…1…1…

**I've tried to go on like I never knew you  
I'm awake but my world is half asleep  
I pray for this heart to be unbroken  
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete**

With a pained whimper, Cody's wrist slipped out of his grasp and his arm hit the ground, falling into a pool of red. He'd lost so much blood.

His head was pounding with dizziness, and Zack's hysterical screaming wasn't helping. Black dots clouded his vision, and Cody slipped out of consciousness, barely managing to whisper, "_I love you_."

Zack looked over at his Cody's motionless body and screamed at the policeman even louder, who told him that an ambulance would be heading over. Zack slammed the phone down in frustration, wishing with all his heart that the ambulance would just hurry up because in his heart he knew that Cody couldn't hang on for long…

"Oh God," he moaned, running over to his brother's side. He picked up Cody's limp body and cradled his brother's head against his chest. "Oh God, Cody. I can't lose you. I can't go on if you leave. Please, Cody," he sobbed into Cody's hair, his voice breaking in emptiness. "Hang on for me. I never even got to tell you that I _love _you…"

**Incomplete **

**Author's Note**: AAAAH! Ok, review to find out more. The next chapter will probably be the last chapter. I don't feel like dragging this out too long.

-Finn


	4. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

**Author's Note**: Last chapter. I don't own _Who I Am Hates Who I've Been _by Relient K. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 4: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

Cody whimpered softly as his head throbbed in pain. He carefully opened one eye, and then the other. Where was he? What was he doing here?

Observing from the white surroundings, he realized he was in a hospital. Why? What happened? He glanced down at his arm which was covered in a white gauze and bandage.

Then it all came rushing back. The knife, the blood, Zack holding him…

Zack holding him? Where was he, where was his twin?

**I watched the proverbial sunrise  
coming up over the Pacific and  
you might think I'm losing my mind,  
but I will shy away from the specifics...**

Zack had said he loved him. He said that he _loved _Cody.

Cody moaned and tried to glance over on his side to see if Zack was there. He wasn't.

Tears of disappointment filled Cody's eyes as he thought, _I should have known better. I should have known that Zack wouldn't be here. _Bitter regret seeped through his mind as thought, _It was all a lie. _

**'Cause I don't want you to know where I am,  
'cause then you'll see my heart  
in the saddest state it's ever been.  
This is no place to try and live my life.**

A hand slipped into Cody's.

"Cody?" came a choked voice. Cody tried to look up, but his head was pounding, so he stopped his movements.

"Hey, buddy," Zack's voice was raw with pain and regret. "It's me, Zack."

Now Cody's heart was pounding too. Had his brother saved him just to destroy him in the end?

**Stop right there, that's exactly where I lost it.  
See that line, well I never should have crossed it.  
Stop right there, well I never should have said  
that it's the very moment that  
I wish that I could take back. **

"Cody," Zack took a deep breath. Cody couldn't see him, but he knew what Zack looked like right now, his blonde hair shuffled messily across his forehead, his eyelids reddened with tears, his face white and pale. "Code, you really scared me." Zack's voice cracked with pain. "You really scared me, buddy. I was really scared."

"I thought you'd be happy…" Cody managed to whisper. His brother's hand tensed in his.

"How could you possibly think that, Cody?"

**I'm sorry for the person I became.  
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.  
I'm ready to try and never become that way again  
'cause who I am hates who I've been.  
Who I am hates who I've been.**

"I hurt you," Cody managed to say, his voice trembling. "I hurt you and you didn't deserve it. I shouldn't have hurt you, Zack. I said something I shouldn't have, and you have every right to hate me."

"Code, I don't hate you. I'd _never _hate you. You scared me so bad, Cody. You scared me so bad when I opened that door and I saw all the blood and how you told me that you wanted me to be happy. That you did it for me. I was so scared, Cody. You scared me so bad."

**I talk to absolutely no one,  
couldn't keep to myself enough.  
And the things bottled inside have finally begun  
to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. **

"But I hurt you," Cody protested, his voice still weak. "I hurt you. I'm so sorry, Zack." A tear slid down his face. "I'm so sorry."

"I had no right to hit you, Cody," Zack mumbled, stroking Cody's face softly.

Cody flinched, and then he wished he hadn't. He could sense Zack's pain. "I'm sorry."

**I heard the reverberating footsteps  
Syncing up to the beating of my heart,  
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,  
I would watch me fall apart.**

"Cody, I can't live without you. If you had…" Zack's voice broke off, starting to think the unimaginable. "If you had… if I hadn't stopped you, Cody, I would've followed you. I would have ended up… like that. I can't go on without you, brother. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I just… acted before I thought, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. God, Cody—I _love _you…"

**And I can't let that happen again  
'cause then you'll see my heart  
in the saddest state it's ever been.  
This is no place to try and live my life.**

Cody was silent. What could he say? He was so afraid to believe his brother, yet he wanted to, more than anything in the world.

"I can't live without you, buddy. You make me complete—I'm so sorry I did that to you, and I wish more than anything that I could take that back. Please, Cody, you have to believe me."

"I want to Zack. I want to, more than anything in the world, but…"

**Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.  
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.  
Stop right there. Well I never should have said  
that it's the very moment that  
I wish that I could take back. **

Cody turned to face his brother, and Zack saw his twin's face was a mask of haunted fear. "I want to, but I'm afraid… I'm afraid to be hurt again. I don't think I can go through anything like that again, Zack."

Zack felt his heart break. He squeezed onto Cody's hand hard and whispered, "Please Cody. I promise I won't hurt you again. Just come back to me. I love my baby brother, and I miss him. I _miss _him Cody," he said, as his voice shook. "I _miss _him, and I _need _him. I miss my little brother, Cody. Can you come back to me?"

**I'm sorry for the person I became.  
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.  
I'm ready to try and never become that way again  
'cause who I am hates who I've been.  
Who I am hates who I've been. **

"I can try," whispered Cody, his voice trembling. "I want to. I'm just… _afraid._"

"I love you Cody. I love you. I'll always be here to protect you. I'm so sorry for what I did, and I promise I won't… I won't do it again. I'm here."

**  
Who I am hates who I've been  
and who I am will take the second chance you gave me.  
Who I am hates who I've been  
'cause who I've been only ever made me...**

"I love you, Zack. I really do. I was so scared when I thought you hated me. I had that dream, a dream where I was falling, and you wouldn't save me."

"Of course I'd save you, Cody. I couldn't live without you, brother. Remember those times we cried together because we missed Dad? Remember all those nights where we trusted each other, and we loved each other? I want that person back, Cody. I want that person back. Trust me, please."

**So sorry for the person I became.  
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.  
I'm ready to try and never become that way again  
'cause who I am hates who I've been.  
Who I am hates who I've been. **

Cody looked at his brother, his eyes shining with tears. "You have that person back, Zack. You have that person back. I love you."

**Author's Note**: I rather hated this chapter. I thought it was sort of lame, but then I decided it's ok. What do you think? It's sort of repetitive I know, but still touching.

-Finn


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